Whether your partner is male or female, cold sores can easily be transmitted during unprotected oral sex. Some people will be reluctant to engage in a sexual relationship with someone with oral or genital herpes. However, that reluctance is far from universal.
I would have to agree with the guys. I'd take any precaution I could, of course, but, yes, I would give the guy a chance. If you have stress, a cold, fever, trauma, a whole list of things can trigger it, but if you get a small cold sore, then you have it. In the meantime, I am enjoying a type of peace and ease in a relationship that I’ve never experienced before.
You should wait seven days after the sore heals before resuming sexual activity.
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By age 50, 80%–90% of adults have the virus.
I did a lot of research and I learned that oral herpes is not a big deal and that close to 60% of the population has the disease. I don’t think it’s a big deal either, it’s like the cold sore virus. I far from slept around. I have not consulted ANY source that calls it a "complete non-issue".
To all people saying they wouldn't date a person with non-STD cold sores. To protect yourself and your partners, knowledge is key. To put this in perspective, probably around half of the people you have ever kissed carried oral HSV1, and if they didn't mention it it was either because they didn't know they carried it or they assumed it wasn't necessary to mention it. Truth is, you could have had it before you even met her.
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Furthermore, not that it makes a difference, but you do realize that she could have given you genital herpes thorough oral sex if she had it orally, right? Genital herpes is caused by a different virus. Get a handle on your self righteousness. Have never had herpes outbreak, neither did he. Having your body infected by a virus is an impermanent of normal functioning.
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- All of them were cool with it.
- Also, I'd feel super bad if I told her "I don't want to date you because you have oral herpes" when she was brave enough to tell me in the first place before we had sex.
- And before I found out about my little gem, I would immediately think, "not in my backyard".
- Anyone who has had Chicken Pox has the virus as that is part of the herpes zoster virus.
Chicken pox is one of 8 distinct strains of the herpes viruses, but the strain that causes chicken pox is entirely different from HSV-1 (oral herpes). Do not kiss infants, children or pregnant women at all during an outbreak. Do you just keep going until you get a higher lvl STD? For a lot of my friends with cold sores, the idea that they initially contracted it during childhood from a relative kissing them seems to give them a free pass.
Without sounding like I’m full of myself, guys ask me out all the time. You ask a great question, one that I have dealt with myself. You can literally have this conversation after dinner or a movie while walking, so as not to make the situation feel too pressurized. You don’t want to tell him your business if you are unsure. You might as well change the title of this to "Would you date someone? You probably have oral herpes.
For most people sex is important enough to take some risks; if you really care about the person you’d be a fool to let an annoying skin condition come between you. Fortunately, in 1 year of dating, mouth period and real period have never overlapped! From their partner without knowing and then be in a new relationship and have the same thing happen.
How on earth would I feel if we did proceed to get more serious and physical, only to find that later, we have to part ways -- though now I have a lifelong infection? Hygiene is quite simple, you don't indulge in oral sex or kissing when you have one present. I am a 43-year-old woman that has had herpes for over 15 years. I couldn’t go to the bathroom without crying so I did everything I could to not go.
Because, he thought, c old sores don't count as herpes.But as I approach 5 decades of life, I hardly feel ready to ruin this good streak, and so far feel that this is one thing working in my favor: that I can tell my next intimate partner that he will not catch anything from me, and therefore, if we should not work out, he will walk away unscathed, physically.
Uhh if you're hugging your family member and they have a blister on their face, it can be transferred as that you can get cold sores. Using a condom is also not foolproof. We have a right to our choices, just the same as you do. We’d be less angry, ignorant, and mean-spirited, and could make better decisions with regard to all areas of our lives beyond health and love.
- I’m gonna freak if she gave it to me.
- Take your holly roller shit elsewhere.
- I even asked him twice if he had anything, because the protection kept coming off.
- I am a 40-year old divorcee who’s started to get my life back on track again.
- And to me, it feels like Russian Roulette, because I already struggle with difficult circumstances that require understanding and patience with a new partner.
- "People use words like, 'he was an innocent victim to HIV' for a hemophiliac, but 'she deserved it' for someone who had unprotected sex.
- A guy I was dating at the time went down on me, as you do, with no disclosure of previous cold sores he'd had.
- About 50% of people have oral HSV1 (cold sores) by early adulthood and something like 80% by middle age.
- According to my own physician, if I plan to be sexually intimate, I should start medication; otherwise, I would take medication only if I am symptomatic.
- Actually, the medication helps to prevent another person from catching it, but it is not 100% and they could still get it, and anyone with Herpes should make your possible partner aware of this, too.
He only told me cuz I saw this zit on his lip and he assured me its a zit and ofcourse I was scared to kiss him but then he got annoyed that I wouldnt kiss him. He said as far as he's concerend he hasn't given it to any of his 3 previous gfs and he's not awaring of them having it. Herpes brought us together, but it's the love, laughter, and good times that keep us close. Herpes can lay dormant for years.
But even if you did catch them from him, are they really the end of the world?But, this is only allowed if they don’t have outbreaks.
I think the point being made here by ppl who have herpes is that it really isn’t a big deal and ppl like yourself who don’t have the disease are uneducated on what it really is and create anxiety not only in yourself but others who may or may not have the disease I had no clue what herpes was other than something with no cure. I told him I liked his profile and asked how he was doing. I wasn’t sleeping around, I was with him and him only for a total of 3 years, but was unlucky.
In very rare cases, HSV1 can spread to the brain causing encephaltis, an inflammation that can cause brain injury or death. Is there a "right time or wrong time" to have this discussion? It is possible to have HSV1 genitally. It of course presents unique and significant challenges, but I'm willing to meet them and believe the right person might think similarly.
It’s annoying, and she should have told you. I’ve had herpes for many years and have had to have the conversation. John texts me crazy wonderful love texts to start and end every day. Just be careful with your activities when she has an outbreak and you should be completely fine. Most people are just asymptomatic. My current partner tested HSV-2+, and had no clue he had it.
At that moment, it was a deal-breaker for me because I was not able to find out anything about it before I took that step with him.
She tells me she got it when she was younger from her mother. She told me yesterday night, right before we were about to have sex that she had oral herpes. Since so many of them can remain dormant indefinetly, if someone has had more than one partner in their lifetime, how would you even know who to sue? Since then, I am 37 now, I have only had one man that didn’t want to be bothered. Some people never experience a second outbreak. Speaking as a man who has never had a cold sore.
Stu-i got herpes from my husband (whose name is also Stu) when i was 32 weeks pregnant with our first child. That is equivalent to once maybe twice a the most yearly!. That was fine with me, obviously. The anecdotal being that a disease being very common somehow makes having it the normal state of the human body.
The most painful think to me is before the blister breaks after that its OVER. The requested URL /showthread. There are dozens of web sites that provide online support and information for people with herpes. They are normally only ever present when someone has a cold or is run down etc, so they're not really going to be there when you're feeling jiggy. Things not working out the way you had hoped? This was in the early 1970’s when not as much was known about herpes.
When I asked him if he considers his cold sores herpes, he said, "It doesn't matter what I consider it to be. When I called him and told him he had given me herpes, he said sorry didn’t know I had it. Whenever I have gotten close enough to wanting/having sex and have told my “boyfriend”, I get rejected. Which are the times it is most contagious, the skin can shed the virus and infect someone else at any time.
I hope that works, because that has been my policy with her. I mean, I’d avoid it during an outbreak–when a person is most contagious–but I’d avoid any sexual contact during that time. I think the best answer is to treat your condition matter-of-factly.
It really isn't a big deal. It really isn't that big of a deal don't let it cloud your mind about it. It was a relief not to worry about when to bring up my medical history, and to bond with a guy over asymptomatic shedding instead of having to explain it. It's not difficult to remain HSV1 free while with someone who has it.
Of the country has it and most don’t even know. Of those who have it, don’t know it. Only one man was hesitant – to the point of breaking it off with me – but he still thanked me for letting him know before we got physical. Preventing the spread of genital herpes is more difficult than oral herpes. Rights of all genders are supported here and broad generalizations [including about feminism or the men's rights movement] will not be tolerated.
The common cold is not a big deal. The downside of this, means she is prone to illnesses and something that might only cause you a few days of discomfort could potentially be life threatening for her. The most conclusive and accurate test is during outbreaks, where they swab the fluid in the blisters and test them for the virus.
My ex broke out after an extended fellatio session, which is when she decided to inform me she had it. My previous post had a typographical error in it! Not everyone just sleeps around! Not everyone that gets herpes just sleeps around with everyone. Not one time was it a deal breaker and each time I was thanked for letting him know in advance. Now that I’m single again, I carry the stigma.